Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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