You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
