eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize