my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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