just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
