The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
