Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
