wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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