I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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