i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
