She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize