that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
