Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
