i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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