Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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