TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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