WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You smell like stripper and shame
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
