Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
