I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
