I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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