Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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