it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
