There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
