In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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