last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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