bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
