i think my tv is drunk
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
