Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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