Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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