apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
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