It's just like the Real World with babies
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just pee around me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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