I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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