Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dignity is for republicans.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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