They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
