I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
