so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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