I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
