he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
