It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
