i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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