is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
