the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
