My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize