He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
