Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
