He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
