It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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