Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
