I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
