I heard we made out
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
