You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
