And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
