The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize