just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
