Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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