Little spoons don't ask big questions
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
