I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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