Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have already put on my inside pants.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
