woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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