It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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