I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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