girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
