Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
