do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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