The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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