Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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