i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize