i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
